Dating is very complicated nowadays; that is why getting Christian dating advice for men is important.
It’s easy to confuse modern-day dating with Christian dating, Why? Some of the people who give Christian dating advice disregard the Bible.
Don’t get me wrong, some of the information these experts provide is great. But most of what they teach doesn’t align with our Christian values. He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22(NIV)
Unlike modern dating, Christian dating is done for God’s glory. It starts and ends with God. Don’t just pick a girl because she is attractive or a wife material and start dating her.
Those are good qualities, but the purposes of God should come first in your life.
If you have been doing it wrongly, know that it’s not too late. This article will help you understand what Christian dating is and what it is not. It will help you to start glorifying God with your relationship.
The Purpose of Dating
Dating helps us to know each other well. It will help you understand whether your plans and purposes align with the girl you’re dating.
Christian dating enables us to show the other person who we are. And give them the chance to decide whether they want to settle down with us or not.
Some people will tell you to date for a year or six months before you get married. But it all depends on the two of you and, most of all, God.
Some people get married almost immediately. But some wait a couple of months or years before they settle down. You must seek God’s guidance about this so that you can know the right thing to do.
Now, let us look at the top 13 Christian dating advice for men:
1. Focus on your future, not fantasy
Men are visual beings, so it is easy to get drawn to a woman’s looks or what you see externally.
It is okay for you to want someone who looks good. But at the end of the day, it is better to have someone who wants to build a great future with you.
Find someone who will support your dreams and goals.
Live A Victorious Christian Life
2. Deal with your secret struggles first
Let’s be honest. Most of us have things that we struggle with. For example, some people struggle with porn addiction, drug abuse, anger issues, fear, and so on. Yes, including Christians.
Now, some people have convinced themselves that they will overcome their secret struggles, especially pornography, once they are married. Sadly that is not always true.
If you cannot master your struggles now, they will continue to master you even in marriage (Romans 6:12). Instead of rushing into dating, focus on building your relationship with God.
Ask God to help you deal with your inner struggles. If you already have a girlfriend, you deal with your secret struggle now before the two of you get married.
Related Article: Top 19 Best Devotions for Dating Couples.
3. Have realistic expectations
We all want the best things in life. Most of us want to have the perfect wife who is submissive, well-mannered, prayerful, and good-looking. It is good to have your standards and expectations, but they need to be realistic.
Have a sit-down with yourself, be honest about the expectations you have about your future wife, and see if they are realistic. The truth is you cannot have everything you want.
You may get a good-looking woman, but she may not be the best cook or very prayerful.
4. Work on your personal relationship with God
If you don’t know which Christian dating advice for men to start with, I suggest you start with this one. See, whether you’re dating, or not your relationship with God should come first.
Having a close relationship with God will help you see dating and marriage through God’s eyes.
An intimate relationship with God will also help you know when you are starting to stray away from your faith. It will be easier for you to know whether the girl you are dating is right for you.
A personal relationship with God will help you understand why he started the institution of marriage. And his intentions for you and your future wife in this world.
5. Be like the Person you’re Going to Marry
Okay, this might sound confusing, but you need to be like the person you want to marry. What I mean is this, if you want someone that is patient learn to be patient first.
If you want a submissive or prayerful woman, then submit to God and have a disciplined prayer life.
God is protective of his children. Do not expect to find the best when you’re not trying to become the best that God wants you to be.
6. Don’t be unequally yoked
Just because a girl says she’s a Christian and she goes to church every Sunday does not mean that she is truly a believer of Jesus Christ. She might be a Christian just by title, and going to church may be a ritual for her.
So, be careful. Find someone that will respect your faith and work with you in the path that God has laid out for you.
The right woman will allow you to be the leader and priest of your home. Instead of putting you down, she will always encourage you even when you make mistakes. She will not feel threatened by your leadership.
Find a woman who has a close relationship with God. A girl that is submissive to Christ will find it easy to submit to you even in those times when you fail her. ( 2 Corinthians 6:14)
7. Choose Obedience Over Passion
Every time people give dating advice tips, they will put much of the responsibility on the woman. Believers and unbelievers alike will tell women that they’re the ones who determine the course of their relationships.
While that is true, you need to know that you have a responsibility in your relationship. At the end of the day, you are the leader in that relationship, even if you’re not married. You should not let passion overtake obedience.
If the woman fails and allows passion to take over, it is your responsibility as a man to lead her in the right direction.
Don’t leave that responsibility of being pure and obedient to the word of God to your girlfriend. God will judge you individually. He will not put the blame on the woman alone because you have a part to play in the relationship.
Eve is the one who listened to the devil and gave the fruit to Adam. But they were punished individually and as a couple. Be responsible for putting this Christian dating advice for men into practice. (Genesis 3)
8. Set Boundaries
This is closely related to choosing obedience over passion. You need to set boundaries on how you are going to work out your relationship.
The two of you should be honest about your weaknesses and strengths. And then come up with healthy boundaries that will enable you to walk in the ways of God until marriage.
For example, if you are keen on maintaining purity, you need to avoid being in intimate places alone. You don’t want to be in your bedroom with the woman you’re dating if you don’t want sex outside marriage.
It is better to avoid temptation than to fight against it. (1Cornthians 6:18)
Also Related: Christian Dating Advice for Women: Top 13 Tips.
9. Be Led by the Holy Spirit
It is easy for people who are dating to be influenced by society on what to do while dating. But here’s the thing the best person to turn to when you want to date and get married is God.
He is the one who created man and woman and the institution of marriage.
The truth is, even though men deal with similar issues, you are wired differently. It is only God who knows you inside out. God has given us the Holy Spirit to teach us all things.
So allow the Holy Spirit to lead you to the woman that you should marry. (John 14:26)
10. Be a Leader
The truth is the way you start a relationship will determine how you’re going to be in marriage.
If you allow your girlfriend to lead you now, she is going to expect the same in marriage. See, most people like to pretend when dating for fear of losing the person they are dating.
But once they get married, their true colors come out, and that is how problems start cropping up in marriage. Be the leader in your relationship from the start.
I don’t mean you should walk all over your girlfriend and expect her to play wife now. Be the leader in your relationship, and let her get accustomed to that from the start.
11. Date a Woman who Respects You
Trying to convince yourself that the woman you’re dating will change once the two of you get married? Well, the truth is if she does not respect you now, she will not do it in marriage.
If anything, she will keep on looking down on you once you get married.
Yes, people change, but in most cases, it is for the worst and not the best. It is good to be gracious to others. But when it comes to dating, you should not ignore red flags all in the name of showing grace.
There is a flip side to this. Some women idolize their men instead of respecting them. You may be feeling on top of the world because your girlfriend idolizes you.
Right now, her whole life may be all about you. But you’re going to get frustrated because you’ll have to measure up to the standards she has set you on.
Not just that, when you get married, she’ll see your flaws and realize that you’re only human, not a superhero. This will cause problems that may lead to divorce.
Also Related: Top 15 Proven Ways To Know God Intimately.
12. Don’t Date a Girl you’ll not Marry
Many married men have confessed that they knew they were going to marry their wives within the first six months.
Now you may be dating it just for the sake of it. But dating different girls when you know that you’re not going to marry any of them is not good.
You will not only mess those girls up, but you will also mess yourself up in the long run. You will invest your emotions, finances, and time and all this, and it will leave you feeling drained.
Yes, relationships fail all that time. But if you know that you’re not going to marry the woman you’re dating, stop stringing her along.
13. Pray without Ceasing
I once heard a pastor say this when it comes to dating and marriage, you need to pray. Pray before you start dating, as you date when you get confirmation and after getting married.
See, the enemy hates marriage. So he’s doing everything to destroy the first and most important institution in the world.
Today divorce is made to look like the coolest thing ever. But no matter what Hollywood does, God hates divorce. We need to be on our knees, fighting for our marriages.
Not just when we are already married but even when you’re just dating or single. Let God be the one to lead you to your marriage partner. A wrong move can mess up the rest of your life. (Ephesians 6:18)
Christian dating is not a walk in the park. That is why it is vital for you to know Christian dating advice for men before you start dating.
Now, there is more to finding a wife than just allowing your passion to lead you. You need to make sure that your desires are in tune with the plans of God over your life.
A great woman helps her man to become the person God wants him to be. That is why women are helpers.
You need to get married to someone who will help you to fulfill your purpose in this world.
Your wife needs to be your greatest supporter. That’s why you need to find a woman that respects you and shares your faith. The best way to find that woman is to spend time in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you during dating.